Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...

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(205): View more from Alabama

soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out

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(574): View more from Indiana

Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.

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(425): View more from Washington

so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.

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(231): View more from Michigan

A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.

(218): View more from Minnesota

Update: It didn't work

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(406): View more from Montana

I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not

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