if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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