Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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