omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I could fuck to npr.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
