i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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