So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
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Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
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I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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