Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
