So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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