well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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