Just cropdusted the office
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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