I can't watch pbs sober anymore
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
