When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
