I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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