just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
