What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Two words: blizzard sex
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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