I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
