I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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