pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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