i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You're breaking my sexual little heart
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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