my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
