so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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