After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
