Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
