he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
