if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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