If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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