Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
