Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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