Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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