new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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