He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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