please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
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can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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