don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
