Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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