yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
