I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
