I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
