Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize