I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
