did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
