how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize