A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
