You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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