Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
party gras won. party gras always wins.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
