My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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