I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
two words: eviction party
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
