she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
