K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
