i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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