you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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