Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
