Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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