I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
