i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
