I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
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You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
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My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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