She said her name was "party"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
